There's always a second thought....

“So…… what does your gut feeling say?” Piyu asked me after our brief discussion.

“The same words echo in my head which I had heard in the first meeting with him. After all these years Piyu, I am so thrilled to start over new. It may sound corny, crazy or totally impulsive may be! 

When we have the tiff I get scared to fall into that miserable trap once again; I feel lost, confused sometimes……. I let the few uncomfortable seconds pass, the silence in my head makes it more difficult to see the reality, makes me little nervous too, the numbness in my heart reflects in my actions and then the hope kind of fades…..” I could exactly recollect all those feelings while explaining it to Piyu; this is why I loved her so much; my angelic confidant! 

“And this, …. precisely this is the moment when the negativity slowly starts creeping in your head, and you don’t even realize what exactly led you to this unpleasant sentiment”, Piyu caught me at the right moment, understood how I exactly felt.           “Never mind, sorry to interrupt, please continue…. I so want to hear this out & tell my views too” She encouraged me again.

“ Well then the world falls apart, you hate being in the state even for that brief moment, all the dreams, passion you once you had all of a sudden seem to be slipping away!.... The awkward distance weakens your belief. You loathe this hatred version of yourself & the unseen barrier of ego. I must say Piyu this is quite a challenging phase, the way you perceive it & respond to this; can actually conclude your relationship.” I was totally immersed in our conversation now.

“The second thought moment….. Am I right Minu?” She smirked. 

“Yep darling!; Quite inevitable I guess in most of our romantic relations…. This has happened with so many people I have known, the vulnerable moment which ascertains our future.” I agreed. 

 “Well yes; and it’s up to us to let this uncertainty control our mind”, She added,

“You said it! And I have managed to give it a positive direction; these obstacles have no significance if one can carefully sort out keeping the ego aside. I feel, speaking out what bothers you make things much easier. Either opt to keep silent & sulk or hold that grief of yours and express your concerns assertively. Communicating at the right time can have such a great impact on relations, I had never thought of that Piyu”.

“My my…. someone has grown up! I am amazed to hear this and very delighted Minu. In fact evolution of the relationship helps two people foresee the abundant possibilities.” She grinned, came forward & embraced me. 

“Beyond the dispute, I could feel the right path enlightened my hope. Why I focused on all the things I dislike about him & neglect those magnificent moments which we had shared. His unique way of dealing with my tantrums, being patient with me in my difficult times, supportive & considerate approach that he naturally has within him… this is what I had loved about him in fact I still love & will always love that. 

He has added some new adventure in each day, shared incredible ideas, created some impeccable memories which have stirred me equally on the intellectual & emotional level. 

And that’s how I wiped out the second thought. I realized that his worth in being him and not to mould him from every angle according to my expectations. Imposing my version of the “Ideal Him” might cost me losing his authentic existence. I may turn this pure union into some forceful bondage. Trust me it’s very difficult to see through this & accept things the way they are; but once you do that the feeling is so liberating!” I poured my heart.

“ Wonderful Minu, I hope our minds elevate to this level & we enable our senses to experience the magic of harmonious relations. Honestly, when you first started telling me about it I was scared to hear something terrible like what usually happens after the ego-clashes, disputes, disagreements & all…. But I am so glad to find that my friend has reached to this point; the total positive outlook!

The fact is that everybody encounters “the second thought” syndrome, but very few can win over the negative impulse & rise above the conventional traps. And of course if you have cultivated this mind-set then I am sure there’s someone very special behind this progress”, she winked at me. 

“Yes, he is indeed quite special” I flushed. 

The courtship stage

The unknown jitters, the fast paced heart beats & the mystical butterflies! Does it sound familiar? A lot like the courtship stage…… The incredibly exciting beginning of two hopeful hearts…. Every moment is like a dream, being happy for no specific reason & the spine-tingling feelings when you think of this special someone! The sheer thrill of the first encounter…. The dramatic phase is both pleasant & whimsical at the same time. It makes these two people so restless, perplexed & thrilled.

& this is what she asked herself when she could feel it happening…..

You, me & our starry world beyond this polluted world! Why am I not afraid of being vulnerable in front of you? Why do I understand everything that you are trying to tell me with or without words? Why you seem to be an answer to all the questions I have had in mind all these years? Something which I thought was so impossible & unreal when I used to dream about it, how come it seems so easily achievable now when you are here?

When & how this happened….? You induced this dead side of mine which even I had forgotten for so many years. How is it possible that you have felt & thought exactly the similar things which I had thought of discussing with you today?

Which is this magnetic string pulling me towards you in every conversation that we have? My soul found the pieces it had lost long back in the journey of becoming wise & literate as per the world around me. How did you make me connect to that childhood aura of my mind? Where have you got all these enigmatic surprises from?

How do you say those things I want to hear about? How can you listen & remember everything that I say & read between the lines? Waiting every moment for that charismatic moment to arrive & every moment that passes in this wait is equally beautiful. How are you able to remind me when I am actually underestimating myself? How do you help me find this passionate version of me almost every time when we interact? How do you make me come out of every negative thought that passes my mind?

How come this enchanting tuning so suddenly knocked on our doors? Why do I lose senses under this influence of lunatic adventure? How is it possible that you do and say everything that I had always wished that HE would be doing; in fact exceeding my expectations by going beyond which even HE had not done in my dreams…. Why this reality is so fascinating than the dream itself?

It’s certainly going to end one day as everything that is euphoric isn’t eternal but the heart & mind is so ready to take this leap of faith even after knowing that there could be unknown obstacles laid ahead on this path. Within this short span the kind of freedom, joy, cognition, strength, faith & trance this eyes have experienced is so inexplicable!

This journey is undoubtedly the most awaited one and I am so certain that no one would have been a better companion than you to sail through. The exceptional & unique blend of someone who has this knack of taking me to the dream world when I wish to fly & safely landing me back in the real world when I need to be back!

Immersed in your deep eyes, melodic voice, breathtaking smile & mysterious psyche, I am discovering the meaning of these two perfectly imperfect souls, unknowingly entangled without controlling each other. Hope to relish every moment of this trippy concord!

Rhythm & sensation

Lucky are those who have the passion & vision to understand the eternal beauty of art; the few fortunate people who can perceive an enchanting talent that elicits inner colours of the soul. Art certainly has many sources and many forms to manifest. The mind unleashes all its desires and imaginations with the help of these various types of art.

  

Dancing is one of the splendid art forms which has it all. An artiste with this extraordinary skill, only he can comprehend the magical trance of the rhythm, the surge, the pace, the movements, & the respiration! There are very few art forms which can be presented with a partner. One of such beautiful forms of art is the well-known Latin American Ballroom dancing.

                      

   Music is the soul of most of this kind of dance forms. Naturally there are beats, counts, steps, moves & style which should be coordinated well between the partners to make the dance look graceful. What goes beyond the technical perfection is the euphoric feeling within mind when you embrace every part of the dance moves. Why does it look so jazzy and swanky despite several moves being repeated in different ways? What makes it so unique & popular in several cultures across the world? The answer lies in experiencing this art with your own feet. Each individual may like it for different reasons, for social performances, music; the graceful representation of well-coordinated men and women’s union or merely for some fun! Irrespective of the motives, it certainly has some sort of magnetic energy which you can sense once you start living in this dance world.

It’s the fact of being present in the moment, pouring the enormous passion in form of your body movements, absorbing your senses in the act & cheerfully following the calling of your heart with every beat; all these elements perhaps make the dance look so fabulous! The men leading with their utter confidence & complete faith in their women to follow gracefully reveal the natural course of how compatible connections are built. Understanding the clues & reading the implicit senses cultivate an incredible amity.

It could be soothing, or sometimes vibrant, at times untamed or even romantic; different moods are experienced with different rhythms. Apart from the classic holds, postures, twists, turns, walks, lifts & drops, mind wanders along with the tempo & flare-up all the intense emotions in the form of dance. Elegance is easily achieved when each move is being looked upon not only as a physical movement but as an exclusive moment to represent your inner love of art.

                    

 Each performance which is created with the heart & soul of an artist is undoubtedly triumphant!

What makes you stay back?

“Relationships filled with strong emotions survive for a long and sometimes for a very long time”; may be a thought or an idea you can find only in romantic novels or movies. And is it relevant in a real life situation too? Perhaps a really complicated question and the answer may even differ according to the situations people are currently facing in their present relationships or on the basis of their past experiences.

Some with a sheer elation of a new relationship, some with a aggravation of dragging a dead relationship, some with a broken heart who have learnt their new lesson, some in a total dilemma of courtship stage hesitant to decide whether they should take that step further or not and then there are some who have stayed with each other despite all the hard times, they are the ones who have grown with each other as a human being.

  There, this last category is where all the genuine answers can be found. People sail through all the difficult times not under the obligation to stay together for a lifetime but perhaps there’s something irresistible and unique in their partner that makes them stay. A long term relationship which has gone through a lot of good and bad times is inevitably based on a lot of understanding and few unsaid sacrifices. Sometimes it can not be about finding the next best suitable option for the damage within us, in contrast it could be just about holding back for a little more time and rekindle the bond by honouring the vows once made by both of you with the natural instinct.

People evolve with time so does the relationship! Not all the changes can be adopted at the right time by two people who decide to be together; leaving each other to figure out the changes for a while may help to overcome this challenge. Distance certainly makes us crave for our routine after a while. Routine, which is not only filled with compromises or adjustments but also has a profound meaning in its existence. No, it is surely not that easy to vow of living with each other forever and giving your best to sustain the relationship at all the times. There would be definitely a lot of expectations; demands, disappointments, disagreements, and loathing also come along as a baggage; everything that would make you feel exhausted and take a toll on your mental peace.

And these are few reasons which make us run away from relationships and their burdens. It isn't possible to perhaps always escape as there would be a time where you really need that someone to be your side, nobody can understand anybody completely. But the one who understands the real you and a lot of you is the one for you!

Being loved by someone like this is an amazing feeling and loving someone insanely like this is even more enchanting. Not quitting when all the circumstances go against your will is surely painful but enduring this pain for a while can be worthy sometimes.

No relationships are perfect; not even the ones which are based on deep friendships and exceptional bonding. Nevertheless there are always these few reasons or could be one reason that makes us stay in the same relationship. Being afraid of finding that reason in the next relation may stop us from abandoning the current one. The stronger is your reason, the more determined you are to accept the true colours of your lovers. So the blend of the ability to foresee the possibilities and valuing the once strongly felt emotions land such lovers into reconciling. Beyond all the fights and agonies sometimes there’s a reason to stay back and if you happen to discover even one of such reasons then trust your impulse and make the right choice!

Hence, “Let’s not try”

Hence, “Let’s not try”

Mediocrity is easily accepted and at times we don’t even realize when we become the victims of our desires. The restlessness and anxiety win over the internal fight with the mind and people eventually give in. Sounds a lot familiar? Yes this is what generally happens with the people in their late 20’s.

Expecting to have someone by your side to share all your happiness and worries is quite natural. We all certainly want to be loved, feel the warmth for that special someone; need that person to stand by us, understand our emotions, accept our flaws and share a happily ever after married life together. Who doesn’t want that? Most of us; how much ever independent or non-believer in marriage or relationship kind of people are the natural instinct of having that special someone never vanishes.

 But then what happens when this special someone takes a miserably long time to show up and we have no clue when and where to find them especially after the experiences of the series of failed relationships or heartbreaks in the past. Well, sometimes this leads to not so prolific choice and mechanically the heart desperately starts searching for that special someone in almost everybody who is available around. The solitude haunts the mind to such extremity that we become so unbelievably adaptive just to please any the new prospect.

Rest reasons leading us to settle down for mediocrity are very common but can vary from person to person. Like the pressure of traditional families, the mindset of fearing the society norms, financial reasons or sometimes even the dread of dying alone. All these anxieties then result into pushing for the wrong relationships, chasing wrong people, changing yourself totally for someone which is never so important in an ideal relationship, approaching your old friends; and seeing your prospective groom or bride in every deserving person around.

There’s nothing wrong in expecting romantic companionship or finding true love; however losing yourself in this process may certainly make things complicated. One should surely not suppress their feelings if they feel naturally inclined towards someone but forcing yourself to like someone definitely lands you in trouble eventually. Why give up on love at such times, or why ignore our inner voice which certainly wants authenticity, meaningful bonding. Just because most of the people around have found their mates already and have started with their happily ever after means we too got to have someone immediately?

The uncanny irony of life is when we fell in love during the school- college days, we named love as infatuation or childishness; people around us sometimes even imposed this thought that this is not the age to love; it’s the age to study and focus on your career, when that phase passed and we fell for someone in our professional network we feared whether our professional life would get hampered or if not that then whether the marriage is going to be possible or considering the family issues etc. However we never felt the urge of getting settled down back then assuming it would be too early but sometimes the real reason is we just merely want to weigh all our options and wait for the better one; as we are in no hurry unlike the late 20’s.

Being practical and thinking rational is important since getting married has become a big deal these days. However can we just ask ourselves one honest question before hurrying or chasing the wrong people, what if you find that special someone after getting married to this mediocre prospect? Will I be able to resist? Let that amazing person pass just because I once decided to try falling in love. The perfect one got little late but that individual has finally made it and now we are in such a miserable dilemma that we blame the time, fate and end up being confused. Naturally this may also cause ruining a lot of lives together, or suffering in silence.

That’s when we realize that how immature it was to label, “lets try” for something so precious and so unique, and then regret when you find what you were looking for in this new person.

One should undoubtedly not wait if you find your mate and feel completely certain about being with him or her. But convincing yourself to like someone turns out to be blunder most of the times. This doesn't mean that one has to fear falling in love or should not be adaptive for their partners. Apparently there are no perfect relationships; but why to force something which isn't meant to happen. When the right person enters let him or her find their own place; why to occupy it with someone who isn't meant to be there! Hence, Let love find us, just have a little faith! And let’s not try….