Monday 26 January 2015

What makes you stay back?

“Relationships filled with strong emotions survive for a long and sometimes for a very long time”; may be a thought or an idea you can find only in romantic novels or movies. And is it relevant in a real life situation too? Perhaps a really complicated question and the answer may even differ according to the situations people are currently facing in their present relationships or on the basis of their past experiences.

Some with a sheer elation of a new relationship, some with a aggravation of dragging a dead relationship, some with a broken heart who have learnt their new lesson, some in a total dilemma of courtship stage hesitant to decide whether they should take that step further or not and then there are some who have stayed with each other despite all the hard times, they are the ones who have grown with each other as a human being.

  There, this last category is where all the genuine answers can be found. People sail through all the difficult times not under the obligation to stay together for a lifetime but perhaps there’s something irresistible and unique in their partner that makes them stay. A long term relationship which has gone through a lot of good and bad times is inevitably based on a lot of understanding and few unsaid sacrifices. Sometimes it can not be about finding the next best suitable option for the damage within us, in contrast it could be just about holding back for a little more time and rekindle the bond by honouring the vows once made by both of you with the natural instinct.

People evolve with time so does the relationship! Not all the changes can be adopted at the right time by two people who decide to be together; leaving each other to figure out the changes for a while may help to overcome this challenge. Distance certainly makes us crave for our routine after a while. Routine, which is not only filled with compromises or adjustments but also has a profound meaning in its existence. No, it is surely not that easy to vow of living with each other forever and giving your best to sustain the relationship at all the times. There would be definitely a lot of expectations; demands, disappointments, disagreements, and loathing also come along as a baggage; everything that would make you feel exhausted and take a toll on your mental peace.

And these are few reasons which make us run away from relationships and their burdens. It isn't possible to perhaps always escape as there would be a time where you really need that someone to be your side, nobody can understand anybody completely. But the one who understands the real you and a lot of you is the one for you!
Being loved by someone like this is an amazing feeling and loving someone insanely like this is even more enchanting. Not quitting when all the circumstances go against your will is surely painful but enduring this pain for a while can be worthy sometimes.

No relationships are perfect; not even the ones which are based on deep friendships and exceptional bonding. Nevertheless there are always these few reasons or could be one reason that makes us stay in the same relationship. Being afraid of finding that reason in the next relation may stop us from abandoning the current one. The stronger is your reason, the more determined you are to accept the true colours of your lovers. So the blend of the ability to foresee the possibilities and valuing the once strongly felt emotions land such lovers into reconciling. Beyond all the fights and agonies sometimes there’s a reason to stay back and if you happen to discover even one of such reasons then trust your impulse and make the right choice!

Wednesday 21 January 2015

Hence, “Let’s not try”

Hence, “Let’s not try”

Mediocrity is easily accepted and at times we don’t even realize when we become the victims of our desires. The restlessness and anxiety win over the internal fight with the mind and people eventually give in. Sounds a lot familiar? Yes this is what generally happens with the people in their late 20’s.

Expecting to have someone by your side to share all your happiness and worries is quite natural. We all certainly want to be loved, feel the warmth for that special someone; need that person to stand by us, understand our emotions, accept our flaws and share a happily ever after married life together. Who doesn’t want that? Most of us; how much ever independent or non-believer in marriage or relationship kind of people are the natural instinct of having that special someone never vanishes.

 But then what happens when this special someone takes a miserably long time to show up and we have no clue when and where to find them especially after the experiences of the series of failed relationships or heartbreaks in the past. Well, sometimes this leads to not so prolific choice and mechanically the heart desperately starts searching for that special someone in almost everybody who is available around. The solitude haunts the mind to such extremity that we become so unbelievably adaptive just to please any the new prospect.

Rest reasons leading us to settle down for mediocrity are very common but can vary from person to person. Like the pressure of traditional families, the mindset of fearing the society norms, financial reasons or sometimes even the dread of dying alone. All these anxieties then result into pushing for the wrong relationships, chasing wrong people, changing yourself totally for someone which is never so important in an ideal relationship, approaching your old friends; and seeing your prospective groom or bride in every deserving person around.

There’s nothing wrong in expecting romantic companionship or finding true love; however losing yourself in this process may certainly make things complicated. One should surely not suppress their feelings if they feel naturally inclined towards someone but forcing yourself to like someone definitely lands you in trouble eventually. Why give up on love at such times, or why ignore our inner voice which certainly wants authenticity, meaningful bonding. Just because most of the people around have found their mates already and have started with their happily ever after means we too got to have someone immediately?

The uncanny irony of life is when we fell in love during the school- college days, we named love as infatuation or childishness; people around us sometimes even imposed this thought that this is not the age to love; it’s the age to study and focus on your career, when that phase passed and we fell for someone in our professional network we feared whether our professional life would get hampered or if not that then whether the marriage is going to be possible or considering the family issues etc. However we never felt the urge of getting settled down back then assuming it would be too early but sometimes the real reason is we just merely want to weigh all our options and wait for the better one; as we are in no hurry unlike the late 20’s.

Being practical and thinking rational is important since getting married has become a big deal these days. However can we just ask ourselves one honest question before hurrying or chasing the wrong people, what if you find that special someone after getting married to this mediocre prospect? Will I be able to resist? Let that amazing person pass just because I once decided to try falling in love. The perfect one got little late but that individual has finally made it and now we are in such a miserable dilemma that we blame the time, fate and end up being confused. Naturally this may also cause ruining a lot of lives together, or suffering in silence.

That’s when we realize that how immature it was to label, “lets try” for something so precious and so unique, and then regret when you find what you were looking for in this new person.


One should undoubtedly not wait if you find your mate and feel completely certain about being with him or her. But convincing yourself to like someone turns out to be blunder most of the times. This doesn't mean that one has to fear falling in love or should not be adaptive for their partners. Apparently there are no perfect relationships; but why to force something which isn't meant to happen. When the right person enters let him or her find their own place; why to occupy it with someone who isn't meant to be there! Hence, Let love find us, just have a little faith! And let’s not try….