“So…… what does your gut feeling say?” Piyu asked me after our brief discussion.
“The same words echo in my head which I had heard in the first meeting with him. After all these years Piyu, I am so thrilled to start over new. It may sound corny, crazy or totally impulsive may be!
When we have the tiff I get scared to fall into that miserable trap once again; I feel lost, confused sometimes……. I let the few uncomfortable seconds pass, the silence in my head makes it more difficult to see the reality, makes me little nervous too, the numbness in my heart reflects in my actions and then the hope kind of fades…..” I could exactly recollect all those feelings while explaining it to Piyu; this is why I loved her so much; my angelic confidant!
“And this, …. precisely this is the moment when the negativity slowly starts creeping in your head, and you don’t even realize what exactly led you to this unpleasant sentiment”, Piyu caught me at the right moment, understood how I exactly felt. “Never mind, sorry to interrupt, please continue…. I so want to hear this out & tell my views too” She encouraged me again.
“ Well then the world falls apart, you hate being in the state even for that brief moment, all the dreams, passion you once you had all of a sudden seem to be slipping away!.... The awkward distance weakens your belief. You loathe this hatred version of yourself & the unseen barrier of ego. I must say Piyu this is quite a challenging phase, the way you perceive it & respond to this; can actually conclude your relationship.” I was totally immersed in our conversation now.
“The second thought moment….. Am I right Minu?” She smirked.
“Yep darling!; Quite inevitable I guess in most of our romantic relations…. This has happened with so many people I have known, the vulnerable moment which ascertains our future.” I agreed.
“Well yes; and it’s up to us to let this uncertainty control our mind”, She added,
“You said it! And I have managed to give it a positive direction; these obstacles have no significance if one can carefully sort out keeping the ego aside. I feel, speaking out what bothers you make things much easier. Either opt to keep silent & sulk or hold that grief of yours and express your concerns assertively. Communicating at the right time can have such a great impact on relations, I had never thought of that Piyu”.
“My my…. someone has grown up! I am amazed to hear this and very delighted Minu. In fact evolution of the relationship helps two people foresee the abundant possibilities.” She grinned, came forward & embraced me.
“Beyond the dispute, I could feel the right path enlightened my hope. Why I focused on all the things I dislike about him & neglect those magnificent moments which we had shared. His unique way of dealing with my tantrums, being patient with me in my difficult times, supportive & considerate approach that he naturally has within him… this is what I had loved about him in fact I still love & will always love that.
He has added some new adventure in each day, shared incredible ideas, created some impeccable memories which have stirred me equally on the intellectual & emotional level.
And that’s how I wiped out the second thought. I realized that his worth in being him and not to mould him from every angle according to my expectations. Imposing my version of the “Ideal Him” might cost me losing his authentic existence. I may turn this pure union into some forceful bondage. Trust me it’s very difficult to see through this & accept things the way they are; but once you do that the feeling is so liberating!” I poured my heart.
“ Wonderful Minu, I hope our minds elevate to this level & we enable our senses to experience the magic of harmonious relations. Honestly, when you first started telling me about it I was scared to hear something terrible like what usually happens after the ego-clashes, disputes, disagreements & all…. But I am so glad to find that my friend has reached to this point; the total positive outlook!
The fact is that everybody encounters “the second thought” syndrome, but very few can win over the negative impulse & rise above the conventional traps. And of course if you have cultivated this mind-set then I am sure there’s someone very special behind this progress”, she winked at me.
“Yes, he is indeed quite special” I flushed.
“The same words echo in my head which I had heard in the first meeting with him. After all these years Piyu, I am so thrilled to start over new. It may sound corny, crazy or totally impulsive may be!
When we have the tiff I get scared to fall into that miserable trap once again; I feel lost, confused sometimes……. I let the few uncomfortable seconds pass, the silence in my head makes it more difficult to see the reality, makes me little nervous too, the numbness in my heart reflects in my actions and then the hope kind of fades…..” I could exactly recollect all those feelings while explaining it to Piyu; this is why I loved her so much; my angelic confidant!
“And this, …. precisely this is the moment when the negativity slowly starts creeping in your head, and you don’t even realize what exactly led you to this unpleasant sentiment”, Piyu caught me at the right moment, understood how I exactly felt. “Never mind, sorry to interrupt, please continue…. I so want to hear this out & tell my views too” She encouraged me again.
“ Well then the world falls apart, you hate being in the state even for that brief moment, all the dreams, passion you once you had all of a sudden seem to be slipping away!.... The awkward distance weakens your belief. You loathe this hatred version of yourself & the unseen barrier of ego. I must say Piyu this is quite a challenging phase, the way you perceive it & respond to this; can actually conclude your relationship.” I was totally immersed in our conversation now.
“The second thought moment….. Am I right Minu?” She smirked.
“Yep darling!; Quite inevitable I guess in most of our romantic relations…. This has happened with so many people I have known, the vulnerable moment which ascertains our future.” I agreed.
“Well yes; and it’s up to us to let this uncertainty control our mind”, She added,
“You said it! And I have managed to give it a positive direction; these obstacles have no significance if one can carefully sort out keeping the ego aside. I feel, speaking out what bothers you make things much easier. Either opt to keep silent & sulk or hold that grief of yours and express your concerns assertively. Communicating at the right time can have such a great impact on relations, I had never thought of that Piyu”.
“My my…. someone has grown up! I am amazed to hear this and very delighted Minu. In fact evolution of the relationship helps two people foresee the abundant possibilities.” She grinned, came forward & embraced me.
“Beyond the dispute, I could feel the right path enlightened my hope. Why I focused on all the things I dislike about him & neglect those magnificent moments which we had shared. His unique way of dealing with my tantrums, being patient with me in my difficult times, supportive & considerate approach that he naturally has within him… this is what I had loved about him in fact I still love & will always love that.
He has added some new adventure in each day, shared incredible ideas, created some impeccable memories which have stirred me equally on the intellectual & emotional level.
And that’s how I wiped out the second thought. I realized that his worth in being him and not to mould him from every angle according to my expectations. Imposing my version of the “Ideal Him” might cost me losing his authentic existence. I may turn this pure union into some forceful bondage. Trust me it’s very difficult to see through this & accept things the way they are; but once you do that the feeling is so liberating!” I poured my heart.
“ Wonderful Minu, I hope our minds elevate to this level & we enable our senses to experience the magic of harmonious relations. Honestly, when you first started telling me about it I was scared to hear something terrible like what usually happens after the ego-clashes, disputes, disagreements & all…. But I am so glad to find that my friend has reached to this point; the total positive outlook!
The fact is that everybody encounters “the second thought” syndrome, but very few can win over the negative impulse & rise above the conventional traps. And of course if you have cultivated this mind-set then I am sure there’s someone very special behind this progress”, she winked at me.
“Yes, he is indeed quite special” I flushed.
