“What not to forget in Adversity”

                    “What not to forget in Adversity”

Don’t you dread those unexciting, gloomy times when you feel nothing is going right? Such moments are so stressful that they don’t let you sleep peacefully. 

Yes, I am referring to every situation which doesn’t work as per our expectations. The disappointment can appear in any manner.  It could be something smallest as forgetting to add the most important ingredient in your recipe or anything biggest like losing your most important PPT on your presentation day. From losing your phone in an auto to having hard time with your boss, from breaking up with someone you love to having a dispute with your parents to claim your freedom, from getting upset about the daily chore which got delayed to not able to understand where exactly your life is heading. Urban life is full of chaos. Our routines are filled with plenty challenges in almost every aspect.

And while this plays on our live screen, we inadvertently search for a solution in the easiest way possible at the backstage. Solutions are not always the permanent ones, but bring some relief for time being. And everyone tries this as per their own capacity, choice, beliefs, values and obviously the circumstances. So indulging in a loud party, drinking all the worries could be someone’s decision or else talking it out with the closest person overnight for hours could be an alternative for someone. Pouring your heart in your journal or smoking it up with weed could be the answer. Meditating, joining support groups can help to find peace or simply thinking over them for hours would be the only thing possible. And then at times these issues are suppressed till such a great extent that they only raise their heads when people end up having irrational fights or when they become anxious for months, years without realizing why! Perhaps this is the worst thing out of all.

No matter what it is that bothers you, it has to come to the surface. Acceptance is the foremost important step. Such perilous times steal all our positive energy and push us to the edge. Though we never physically fall, but on emotional level we lose our grip with every passing second.

All the self-help books, therapists and our well-wishers constantly try to uplift our broken spirit with greater messages. Such affirmations sound very soothing but using them in a certain way is something that most of us aren’t aware of.

So pondering over these low periods of life, it struck me that how your own research & theories can help you a great deal. Mine taught me few lessons which I would love to share.

 This might sound odd but try to give up the thought of perfection. It’s not at all important. Acceptance, as mentioned already. Become selfish and do what feels right to your senses. Stop trying the repetitive methods of solution, try alternatives and keep changing them till you are happy. Ignore and literally avoid all that triggers or increases your problem. Make mistakes and allow yourself to make many mistakes. Talk to yourself aloud in mirror or whatever that suits you. Cry and empty your heart alone or with someone who is your favorite listener. Take a break and go back to your happy times via pictures, videos or any sorts of memories. Start afresh as if nothing ever went wrong; don’t expect it to be successful or perfect even in this attempt. Just do it to enjoy the process or to tell yourself ‘hey see, I tried’! Stop thinking over who would like it or not, you love your ways- that’s all matters. Yes, listen and consider opinions but trust only your gut. Take charge and push every intangible obstacle that underestimates you.

You might lose yourself thousand times in adversity but regaining your positive self back ten thousand times is the only way out. In fact, adversity exists to remind us of our enormous powers which we seldom explore, as usually there’s no need that arises with such a great intend. It enters to stir your soul, and to turn you into something you are meant to become.

So next time you have hardship, sit back relax and just say, ‘bring it on, I have nailed many like you before and I am prepared to drown and bounce back again with this and many like these in the future.’